Hotline

[Tony_Linguini]

Welcome to the psychiatric hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
If you have multiple personalities,  please press 3, 4,5 and 6
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want, so please stay on the line so we can trace the call
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random
If you are phobic, don't press anything
If you are anal-retentive, please hold
 

[Stormy]

3, 4, 5, 6

 

[Nan]

LOL !!!! 

[Koach]

/me stays on the line, waiting not so patiently