Old is when ...

[Tony_Linguini]

 "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

 "OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

 "OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

 
 "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by...  the doctor instead of by the police.

 "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

 "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

[Stormy]

4 hours ago, Tony_Linguini said:

 "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

 

Good thing I don't have a garage

 

[Nan]

LOL some good ones there

[Koach]

LOL , i haven't seen that one before

[Guest]

11 hours ago, Koach said:

LOL , i haven't seen that one before

The Bellamy Brothers Lyrics

 

"Old Hippie"
 

He turned thirty-five last Sunday
In his hair he found some gray
But he still ain't changed his lifestyle
He likes it better the old way
So he grows a little garden in the back yard by the fence
He's consuming what he's growing nowadays in self defense
He get's out there in the twilight zone
Sometimes when it just don't make no sense

He gets off on country music
Cause disco left him cold
He's got young friends into new wave
But he's just too friggin' old
And he dreams at night of Woodstock and the day John Lennon died
How the music made him happy and the silence made him cry
Yeah he thinks of John sometimes
And he has to wonder why

[Chorus:]
He's an old hippie and he don't know what to do
Should he hang on to the old
Should he grab on to the new
He's an old hippie...his new life is just a bust
He ain't trying to change nobody
He's just trying real hard to adjust

He was sure back in the sixties that everyone was hip
Then they sent him off to Vietnam on his senior trip
And they forced him to become a man while he was still a boy
And in each wave of tragedy he waited for the joy
Now this world may change around him
But he just can't change no more

[Chorus]

Well, he stays away a lot now from the parties and the clubs
And he's thinking while he's joggin' 'round
Sure is glad he quit the hard drugs
Cause him and his kind get more endangered everyday
And pretty soon the species will just up and fade away
Like the smoke from that torpedo...just up and fade away

[Chorus]

[Koach]

Who's an old hippie?

[Nan]

If the cap fits .......