Nan

Below is a poem (or pome as he calls them) that was written by a good friend of mine named Jeff St John. Jeff was a well known singer in the 70s and 80s in Australia with a voice to die for. These days due to ongoing health issues he doesn't sing any more, but is busy writing his memoirs, getting all his videos organised and in a format he can share with people and keeping his Facebook page updated. He and I have discussed the fact that the internet is a great "window on the world" and today, he became somewhat frustrated when the equipment he recently purchased, refused to talk to Windows 8, so while waiting for an IT friend to visit and help him sort it out, he wrote this little pome Crazy Shuttered Window My window on the world is having trouble with its system. Regardless of how loud I yell, damn thing just don’t listen. Bought in some help from China, that promised me the world, except the window on the world now treats it like a churl. The promise was, at first, fulfilled with music archive capture. The feeling, careful choice of words, was nothing short of rapture. My memories secured, I thought, as easy as just money. But now, my window on the world has decided my help is “funny? ” It won’t reboot, reload, record. First success frustration. My window on the world won’t access my early imagination! Exponential development curve that has now become quite vertical. “Computers that design themselves” is open to some ridicule!

Thanks rosevictor

LOL

LOL

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner. Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.' The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?' 'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish,30, struck by lightning.' 'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector 'Thought he was having his picture taken.'

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, whatdoes a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny." Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

LOL - MEN !!!!

Thanks TV I might pass that on to a friend of mine who just got a new laptop with Win8 and is finding it very different

LOL

Happy Birthday Buffy !!!!!

So cute

LOL

Here is a pic of a memorandum from the Acting Hospital Superintendant of the hospital in Port Vila, Vanuatu where I used to live. We were discussing daylight saving today in readers chat, and I remembered this document. Vanuatu decided to go with daylight saving some years ago, however it caused a lot of confusion, not just for the workers but also for the management .. here is what the workers were told by their boss

Happy Birthday Stormy !!!!!! -- have a great day !!!

I liked this one

Senectus (old age)

Happy Birthday, cyniq - hope you are having a fantastic day

GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles. St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord, the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Love it

LOL thanks Stormy, that's one I'd not heard before (well not that version anyway)

That sounds really good I will give them a try in the next couple of days

LOL !!!!

ROFL !!

LOL

Happy Birthday Elusive_Butterfly - have a fantastic day !!!