Stormy

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'till the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" "Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking."

GRRRRRRROOAANNn

Happy Birthday, Alicia

Happy Birthday Sky

Apparently Joe is a smart man.

R.I.P Cuddly

LOL

Merry Christmas all

LOL

LOL

Romance is such a beautiful thing

BAH

See ya tomorrow and Bye Bye if I don't

BAH HUMBUG

Thanks Dawn

An elderly man in North Carolina owned a large farm that happened to have a large pond. It was just the right size for swimming, so he fixed it up with a picnic table, a dock, and shade trees. One evening the old farmer decided to take a walk down to the pond and grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he approached the pond, he saw it was a group of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. Not wanting to startle the women he made them aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave! The old man smiled and said , 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked.' as he held up five-gallon pail. 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Good luck with that, I'm not sure I want to live four more years, much less 100.

"Do as I say, not as I do"

Here's what I see when I use the channel popup in the window menu

LOL

LOL

ROFL "and they're paying their own way"

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which horse was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.

LOL

I was just going to post that LOL